Finding out that your significant other has cheated on you is one of the biggest shocks you will ever have. There is no greater pain than the pain of betrayal, especially the betrayal of your lover. It literally feels like you got your heart ripped out of your chest, and it’s been stomped on and then put in a blender. The world that you thought you had suddenly collapses all around you and you do don’t know what is real anymore. Has everything been a lie? Was this my fault? Could I have prevented this? Did he ever even love me? You obsessively ask yourself these questions over and over. It can even get to the point where you can’t even cry anymore, you’re just numb to everything. It seems like this hell will never end!
I’m not going to lie, healing a broken heart is never as easy thing to do, and honestly time is one of the best things for a broken heart. However there are things that you can do to make it better and possibly cut that time in half. When I was going through my personal hell of discovering that my husband had been cheating on me the entire time we were together, I discovered a list of 7 things that made my heartache a little less.
1) Change your cell phone number. Do not I repeat do not give your ex your new phone number! You are getting a new cell phone number so he cannot call you and sucker you back in. Once a cheater always a cheater, and always remember that! That was the very first thing that I did because I knew my ex and I knew myself and I didn’t want to end up back with him.
2) Send a friend to get your belongings for you. I’m assuming at this point you have either moved out or not gone back since you found out. The last thing you need right now is to go back to the place where you had a lot of memories with you ex. It is just way too painful and you might even blind site yourself for a minute and remember all of those good memories you had together and completely forget that he is a CHEATER!
3) Try to be around friends and family as much as possible. I know all you probably fell like doing right now is curling up in your bed with a gallon of cookie dough ice cream, but I urge you to put down that ice cream and get out! Isolation is the worst thing you could do, this is the time to put to good use your support system. I’m sure you would so the same for them, so don’t be afraid to ask for help.
4) Go see or rent a really funny comedy movie. Nothing is better than putting your brain aside for a few hours to watch a mindless comedy. If nothing else it will take your mind off things for a little while, and you know what they say; “Laughter is the best medicine”!
5) Keep a journal. There is no better way to get clear on your feelings than to write them down on paper. Nothing is worse than keeping all of that junk in your head where you can endlessly obsess about everything. so go ahead, get it all out and onto paper, you will feel like a weight has been lifted from your head.
6) Get rid of all mementos from your relationship. Put away or give away or even throw away anything and everything that reminds you of your ex. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of your mind until you are able to remember the relationship without feeling any sort of pain around it.
7) Maintain a strict no contact policy with your ex, and stick to it. Don’t make calls. Stay away from texting or instant messaging. This is the only way for you to be able to regain your strength and really move on with your life. If he is still lingering around it will be nearly impossible for your heart to mend. I know it will be hard, trust me I’ve been there, but you will look back a few months from now and be so grateful that you did.
To all of those who have ever been cheated on I want to say that I feel your pain, and I promise you that you will come out on the other side of this hell a stronger, more confident, and wise person. It will get better, keep your head held high my friends!